Finding balance. Or not.

I find myself pondering how to balance two things:  1) The pull of staying in the moment and practicing gratitude, as Buddhist practice encourages, and which I’m sure is good for my mental health and 2) the imperative to take action to try and make the future better by creating change now.

The present moment is just fine for me, thank you.  I’m sheltered, well fed, in good health, and I can rest in the observation that as a society, we’ve made some very good progress over the last decades on a number of fronts.  I have the good fortune to live in a great part of the world and have access to a lot of interesting information about the environment and the living things that share the planet with me.  I am grateful for all of this. 

It often seems that if I stay in the moment, I don’t have to worry about the future, don’t have to care about the suffering that we are creating for people both now and in the future. There is no need to be uncertain about how the future will be played out, whilst also figuring out out what I should be doing. Being in the present moment and being grateful for all I have, could be a good way to escape from having to act, or worry. However, I doubt this is wise or ethical.  I’m left, then trying to negotiate a set of balances – enjoying the life I have whilst also trying to save the world! 

Taking action, however, is not a comfortable path.  I am doing things differently to others around me.  My income has dropped significantly. I’d like to see more of my family and friends.  My garden is a jungle and my house needs maintenance.  I live with a lot of uncertainty about whether I’m doing the right thing or making a difference. I also know that my efforts are never going to cut it, so its easy to want to give up now, or to work myself to a grumpy frazzle.

I have recently begun to think that balance is a fallacy and a goal one can never really attain.  The tightrope we all walk means that we will be constantly off balance and trying to regain it.    Maybe it is so with acting for the future and enjoying the now.  Walking this winding, inconsistent path successfully, probably means finding a way to hold all of it - the gratitude, curiosity, love, fear, anger, frustration, the future focus, AND the unkempt garden - in the present moment.